THE GENIUS IN THE HSE

Genius In The HSE

Last week I was admitted to Sligo General Hospital.  Ambulant but in some discomfort, I paced up and down the corridor all night and along the way I heard,  smelt and felt the reality of what life is like for front line staff.

Three night nurses were attending to 26 to 28 patients.  My untutored eye identified 9 patients who could not get out of bed by themselves.  My ears were pulverized by the repeated bell ringing and requests for ‘a jug of water’, ‘turn me in bed’, ‘put me to bed’, ‘may I have the commode’, ‘I didn’t make the toilet’, ‘I dropped my phone’, ‘an extra pillow please’, ‘can you get my....’, Nurse, Nurse, Nurse.

As I paced, nurses were on a brisk trot, cleaning floors, medicating, writing, making tea and toast phoned doctors and somehow maintained a civil tongue. 

Now, let’s pretend patients were children in a crèche, there would be one child care worker for three babies... that’s because babies need lifting, feeding, changing and cleaning and some TLC.  Some Genius in the HSE thinks that the same ratio applies to nurses dealing with adults and for good measure a further nineteen patients in various states of health can be catered for.

Over the past week I have seen nurses bounce in to work on their first shift back and twelve hours later, they leave looking as haggard as some of their patients.  Unbelievably the unit results for sick leave are posted on the wall for each month and even more amazing, the sick leave rate is zero.

The CT scanner broke down and The Genius was at it again, somehow, the word was not sent to the wards, Porters, Catering Staff and Patients all had to be reorganised; a simple phone call to each ward would have avoided chaos . Patients who were fasting needed food, those who had been transported needed return to sender and of course, those next on the list required cancellation.   I made enquiries and informally told my nurse that it would be at least 2 days before the scanner would be fixed.  In fact, I was able to inform them when the scanner was repaired.  The Genius never asked who I was!

Ah, but the best was yet to come, having observed and listened to patients and their families, all of whom were fulsome in their praise of front line staff , my final perambulation led me to the outside of the coffee shop where a couple were awaiting a taxi and having a cigarette.  The gentleman on crutches and his wife attending were interrupted by another Genius who told them brusquely ‘you can’t smoke here’ to which the woman responded ‘who are you’, Genius drew himself up to the full of his height and replied ‘I am a Manager here’, ‘well’ retorted the woman, ‘if you are a Manager, would you ever go in there and manage that place’.

That little Genius has spent his day reporting, assessing, compiling and computing information in the confines of an office, judging by the way his face flopped when challenged by the two smokers I’d say he wouldn’t last one hour handling the dinner trolly on the wards and he would be a snivelling wimp faced with the detritus of the bathrooms.  Management is about identifying, coping, addressing and solving issues, sometimes that means rolling your sleeves up and just joining in to hold the line. 

Tiz as easy to light a candle than to sit and curse the darkness.