IRISH TWINS

The term Irish Twins was unique to me until the early 1970's.  There was a family near us who had returned to Ireland with their three children.   'The Twins' and a younger sister.  Their father was from the parish and their mother was from the neighbouring county.  The father was very quiet in comparison to The Mother....she knew everything and everyone, joined committees, good causes and attended mass regularly.  All of her efforts would be destroyed with a barbed remark or the foretelling of news before anyone else would have it.  Self analysis would not have been her strong suit and she had the happy knack of spreading news like wildfire.  Having said that, she was not malicious, merely unfortunate in her remarks.

Her less charitable neighbours would mutter under their breaths or ask her publicly about The Twins regularly.  I noticed the conversations but was at a loss to understand how The Mother would bluster or fidget when responding to the enquiries which appeared to be solicitous but carried some mysterious undercurrent.

Some months previously the news of an impending birth had hit the parish.  The girl was unmarried and whilst people may have been sympathetic to her case, no public comments of support for the young girl were voiced.  My parents and their peers were very upset for the girl and her family.  She was young, came of good stock and the girl's welfare and that of her extended family was of great concern.  The father had absconded.  Some of the elderly relatives had not been told of the girls predicament.

After another social gaffe episode involving The Mother of The Twins I asked my mother what was the mystery and she told me that The Mother had married and left the parish on honeymoon and the couple had emigrated.  Subsequently a baby boy was born and 11 months later, a second son was delivered.  The boys were both born in the same year so therefore became Irish Twins!  Maths not being my strong suit, I still didn't get the subtlety;  The bride was pregnant when she married so in order to keep the good side out; when the family returned to Ireland, The Twins got the birth date of the second son.

Apparently nobody minded the subterfuge but every time The Mother imparted gossip, it rankled with the parish.

At a large social gathering for the area, an elderly aunt of the pregnant girl was present.  Several manoeuvres were conducted to keep her out of the range of The Mother and all went well until refreshments were being served and whilst the Aunt waited for her tea to be poured by The Mother, The Mother enquired 'how is your niece?'  The air was sucked out of the hall like a vacuum and the revellers froze in a state of suspended animation as the Aunt responded 'why do you ask?' As the tea poured out in slow motion The Mother leaned forward imparting an aura of confidentially and sympathy and imported 'the news' in grave tones.  The Aunt genteelly placed sugar in her tea and asked was her niece coping with the pregnancy and The Mother responded that she was well but very big.  As The Aunt reached for the milk and straightened herself up she looked at The Mother straight between the eyes and said 'Perhaps she's having twins'.